In Reflection
by Emi-Chan1
Summary: I wrote this a long time ago, but it took me until now to post it. This is everyone's thoughts immediately following the whole Emma thing.


A/N: Okay. This fic has three parts from the pont of view of each of our three main characters. They let me into their heads at a regular basis, so I thought I'd share some of their thoughts with you guys!  
  
Part 1: Annoyed: Miranda's thoughts  
Part 2: Soul Mates: Peggy's thoughts  
Part 3: Lonely?: Declan's thoughts  
  
~*^*~ Part 1: Annoyed ~*^*~  
  
Why did I *have* to walk in on them? Why? You tell me! Because I really, really wish I hadn't.  
  
I don't know whether I'm more mad at myself for walking in on them, or at them for acting like nothing had just happened. Here I am, staring as hard as I can at the floor, and Emma's trying to make small talk with me and all I can get out are monosyllables such as "yeah" and "mm".  
  
Why do I have to be so embarrased about everything?  
  
Well, then again, a college classroom isn't the best place in the world to --  
  
Nevermind.  
  
And then he has to talk with me about it! I felt like yelling "Declan, this is *your* personal life! Please don't drag me into it!" I mean, it's not that I don't want Declan to talk with me, but ...  
  
Maybe it's just me being stupid, trying to stay under the impression that nothing's going on between Declan and Emma. I mean, he had said himself that she wasn't his girlfriend, and even earlier he had denied that he was flirting. I guess maybe I thought there was still hope.  
  
Hope for what?? I can't possibly still think that he might ... that we might ... No. Get that out of your head. Don't even think about it. If it's going to be anyone besides Emma, it's going to be Peggy.  
  
Have you ever said something, then thought about it later and wished you hadn't said it, but you can't just come out and say, "I meant to say ..."  
  
Well, of course you have, because I'm talking to myself, so technically, you're me.  
  
Well when Peggy said, "Can you imagine a worse couple, me and Declan?" I said no, just 'cause I had to agree with her, but in reality, I *can* imagine a worse couple: *me* and Declan. I guess that's why I pushed the whole "two soul mates" thing when we were waiting for Declan to come back so we could surprise him with pizza.  
  
I admit it. When I first met Peggy, I really didn't like her. Now I sort of think it might have been because of the enormous crush I had on Declan at the time. I guess that's all I can really call it ... a crush. The Peggy I saw at first was too professional, too up-tight, too skeptical.  
  
Now I realize that it's just a front she puts up, not letting anyone see inside. In that light, I guess we have something in common.  
  
I never would have thought it possible.  
  
~*^*~ Part 2: Soul Mates ~*^*~  
  
You're told right from the start that when you find your sould mate, you'll know it. No one ever goes into specifics, they just say that you'll know it.  
  
When I was little, I never imagined I would find my "soul mate". Even at my young age, I was still skeptical about that kind of thing. Then I met Adam and I finally knew what everyone had been talking about.  
  
You just know it.  
  
That's why all of these encounters with Robert shook me up so much. All signs pointed to true love, but I didn't *feel* it. I got scared because he was going to give up on his marriage for something that wouldn't work.  
  
Now that everything's been "explained away", I can't help but be a little disappointed. I can't help but wonder if there isn't *some* kind of meaning to all of this. Isn't just a little strange that Emma had to go away to Alaska *now*?  
  
Oh, no. I'm not getting into *this* again, am I?  
  
It would seem so perfect, wouldn't it? The kind of thing you see in movies ... meeting eachother again after being sepearated all those years ago in college without even realizing ...  
  
I just feel so sorry for Miranda. I mean, it's just so obvious, but Declan still doesn't have a clue. It seems like she's left out half the time, especially with everything that's going on with Emma.  
  
You know, maybe the two of us aren't so different after all. It's surprising. I always figured that Miranda would always just be Declan's assistant, but she's starting to become a friend.  
  
So maybe something good came out of all of this after all.  
  
~*^*~ Part 3: Lonely? ~*^*~  
  
She's gone. Just like that. Shouldn't I feel terrible right about now? Shouldn't I be looking out the window and wondering if she'd be in Alaska by now? If she's okay? If she misses me?  
  
I know I should be, but I'm not. How is it that Peggy and Miranda get me pizza and beer to cheer me up and all of the sudden it acutally *works*? I should be moping about this for another week, shouldn't I?  
  
I guess I'm just now realizing how much I blew off my friends when I met Emma, and how lucky I am that they're still sticking by me. I mean, here I am, goggling over Emma, pouring out my feelings about her to Miranda and calling Peggy jealous! They have every right to be mad at me!  
  
But they're not. That's the thing, and, as always, I don't seem to be getting to any point here.  
  
Does this mean I'm totally forgetting about Emma? Somehow that just doesn't seem right, I mean, just yesterday I was completely head over heels, probably making an idiot of myself, and now I think of her and ... well, it's not like there's *nothing*, but it feels like there should be more.  
  
My mind keeps going back and forth, but it seems the only reason it ever goes toward Emma is because I feel like I *should* be missing her right about now ... like I *should* feel lonely, but 'I should' and 'I am' are never the same thing.  
  
Honestly, right now, I am just grateful to have friends who would stick by me through all of this. When I really think about it, I realize how much I don't deserve them after I blew them off like that, but I guess friendship doesn't work that way.  
  
I'm just glad I'm not lonely.  
  
~*^*~  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to post this one on ff.n. I totally forgot about it until now! 


End file.
